Ode To Mr. Vitamix

Ode To Mr. Vitamix

Once there was a VitaMix. What’s a VitaMix, you say?
Why, only the most powerful blender on the market to this day!

Courtney bought her VitaMix off Craigslist, yes indeed
Wandering the streets of Chinatown to fulfil her urgent need
For a blender that could purée to a paste and create a magical yummy taste

Up six flights of Chinatown stairs
Courtney trekked in Uggs and winter fare

To find a slightly worn machine-
2 different owners this VitaMix has seen!

But all this way and only 150 bucks?
I’ll take it, said Courts, tis proof of my great luck!

So through the ice and hail they went,
Courtney ever so careful not to make a dent!

Months go by and great friends they become
Smoothies, sauces, puddings- life’s now much more fun!

But there were some rough patches along the way
Like the time a metal spoon she blended away

But survived yet he did, the VitaMix is quite strong
even a metal spoon didn’t do him much harm

As summer approached, he was at his best
Used almost daily, barely given a chance to rest!

In August with Courtney moving, she’d already made up her mind.
Vitamix would come to Singapore- who knows if another she could find.

Plugs, adapters, converters galore
all filled her suitcases- she could’ve opened up a store!

One of them will work, she had to just believe
There was no other option- the VitaMix she would not leave!

Thousands of miles they flew in the sky
to a strange new city where VitaMix would try

to do his best under new voltage conditions
he was concerned however this may not be his mission.

A few times he worked, but not to his best
Suddenly he was needing more and more rest

Loud noises like thunder Vitamix did make
showing Courtney the truth she could not bare to take

That poor Vitamix had gone way past his prime
and in his meek state he was no longer fine

Oh dear, thought Courtney. What am I to do?
Without my VitaMix I feel like a pile of poo.

No sauces, no puddings. No soups smooth and silky
He turned from clear plastic to a shade kind of milky

Courtney found a local blender, a cheapy, yes indeed
Smoothies now are chunky. Seeds and nuts it cannot heed.

But for now it will do, it will do just fine
Until another Vitamix enters this life of mine

Underneath the counter, VitaMix did go
to make room for Cheapy Blender, who now’s running the show.

VitaMix opened his lid, to bid the world farewell
His life has been blessed by Arc Angel Raphael

Days later at his funeral, Courtney spoke these words
heard by thousands of people, monkeys, and birds:

“We love thee, dear Vitamix. You shall be reborn

I cannot but help to feel oh so forlorn

You belonged to a restaurant, that was your first home

and then to an Asian who wore her hair in a comb

And then to me you came, quite used, yes, you were

but I loved thee dearly. I still felt your allure

May your next life be blessed with speed and power

to travel the country without turning so sour”

VitaMix listened intently and thought merrily of his next life
zooming through kale and collards, a world with no more strife!

Even on his deathbed, happy thoughts he entertained
Arc Angel Raphael decided VitaMix shall be ordained

And on that bitter-sweet note, this poem comes to an end
I love you, Mr.VitaMix, Rest Well my dear friend!